Conscious Choice Seattle: Making Space for Grace

April 2005 | Evergreen Citizen

Making Space for Grace

An inviting approach to working and learning together

by Andrew Mulholland

When Pat Hughes and her husband fell in love and decided to get married, she lived and worked in New Hampshire. His job was in Rhode Island.

“We knew one of us had to quit and move,” recalls Hughes, laughing. “So we both did.”
The couple “tented” for three months and traveled to Alaska and here in the Pacific Northwest.

“It was like a ropes course for newlyweds,” says Hughes. “We loved it here and decided to stay.”

These days, Hughes isn’t any less adventuresome. She is part of a dynamic staff at Seattle’s Center for Ethical Leadership. Her main role is to run the center’s “Gracious Space” program, which has won raves from all sorts of locals and earns her April honors as our Evergreen Citizen. To celebrate, you can attend her next “Gracious Space” workshop April 7 (visit www.ethicalleadership.org) or check out the edited conversation below—or both:

Evergreen Monthly: Just the name “Gracious Space” sounds inviting.

Hughes: I agree. The place we start every workshop is asking people what Gracious Space means to them. We get all sorts of wonderful answers, such as a close friend who you can tell anything or Grandma’s house or out in the deep of nature.
One thing it means to me is that I can be a more gracious person, bringing calm and breath to a meeting. You can develop a reputation for bringing that quality to the workplace or any situation.

EM: There’s obviously a physical dimension too.

Hughes: Oh, sure. There are plenty of studies showing people react positively to getting natural light in the room. Even colors can enhance and be positive.
I visited someone recently who had a basement office with not much of a view except for an atrium and a few plants. But she had painted the room in soothing Southwestern-type colors. I complimented her on how good and calming it felt. She called it “a nice place to get work done.”

EM: Gracious Space is an approach that helps people learn together while working together. It opens new perspective. What is it not?

Hughes: Some people think, Gracious Space, oh, it’s just polite. But Gracious Space can contain or hold conflict. It can be a place where you purposefully enter into conversation, not in an aggressive manner but respectfully. That’s where the movement [and conflict resolution] comes.

EM: Lots of us struggle with conflict.

Hughes: Being respectful is important. So is realizing that people are not rejecting you, but maybe your ideas. I suggest that you visualize putting everyone’s ideas on the middle of the table. That way nobody gets too close to owning any particular idea [that is subsequently rejected].
It’s not about being judgment-free, but being aware about the judgments you are making. I call that “learning in public.” You let yourself be surprised by a new way of looking at something.

EM: I’m ready to learn more about Gracious Space. What if I can’t make the workshop on April 7?

Hughes: Our website (www.ethicalleadership.org) offers a complete publication for $10. It even has questions you can use to guide your learning. I’ve always been interested in finding out how people make wise decisions. That’s covered, and a lot more.

Andrew Mulholland is a regular contributor to Evergreen Monthly.

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