March 2005 | From the Editor
A Radical Retreat
by Bob Condor
The first time I met Brad Blanton, he uttered a few words that I couldn’t print in a big-city newspaper. He didn’t use the curse words for showmanship but more as matter of emphasizing a point.
As you will come to understand (but not because the word is published in our magazine) in this month’s installment of the EM Mini-Retreat, Blanton is particularly fond of a word for bull manure that he uses to describe lying.
After about 20 minutes of the past interview, I started smiling. Blanton stopped and waited.
“I think you are making lots of sense,” I said. “But, to be honest, some of these quotes won’t make it in the paper. Too many swear words.”
Blanton smiled. He apparently liked the fact that I was candid. Didn’t stop him from cursing from time to time (maybe a bit less than before) during the next 45 minutes of our conversation.
In the end, I paraphrased a good portion of the interview. But Blanton’s thoughts and approach have stuck with me for the last decade. Back then, he was out stumping for his first book, “Radical Honesty,” which now can be described as a movement with Radical Honesty groups in various towns throughout the U.S. Seattle doesn’t have one, so opportunity might knock. The second edition of his book will be published this spring; visit www. radicalhonesty.com for details.
Blanton’s premise is simple. Tell the truth all of the time. Don’t hedge to avoid hurt feelings. Stop lying and save yourself the draining energy of remembering what “story” you are supposed to be telling about yourself.
In this month’s EM Mini-Retreat, Blanton explains everybody lies.
Everybody?
“Yes. We are always telling some kind of story, building a case for ourselves and trying to put on a best face,” he says. “We’re trying to prove we’re good little boys and girls and that we’re knowledgeable.”
Blanton mentions one of his favorite pieces of research, a nationwide survey titled “The Day America Told the Truth.”
“Ninety-three percent of Americans admitted that they lie ‘regularly and habitually’ at work,” he reports, “and 35 percent admitted they have had or were currently having an affair which they were keeping secret from their mates.”
By perhaps more than coincidence, new EM columnist Silja J.A. Talvi takes up honesty in her March conversation with readers. She gets there by relating a disturbing incident she observed at a party in the Central District and expands her focus to consider whether Seattlites might be more passive-aggressive than is comfortable.
As Silja writes, she isn’t the first to suggest it. But in her unique fashion, Silja will be spotting trouble spots (last month was pedestrian rights) in our community before they become full-blown disaster zones.
“One argument in favor of passive aggressive behavior is that Seattleites just want to avoid confrontation and conflict for the sake of social harmony,” she writes. “According to this logic, tolerance in society comes with a price, and it’s better for to have someone biting his or her lip than spitting bile.
“But conflict avoidance just isn’t a good thing, especially when it’s being practiced on a regular basis. Being honest about how you feel can actually clear the air and help people to move forward in one way or another. It’s not always pretty or pleasant. It’s not always clean-cut. But it’s honest.”
For the full column—and the incident that so moved Silja to write about what might be regarded as an uncomfortable subject, please read this month’s EM Column. But know that every word was carefully weighed before making it into print, not used for any sort of sensationalism. And that’s truth as Evergreen Monthly sees it.
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